The New Suffix

My friends and I have a habit of reading fortune cookies at Chinese restaurants and sharing them with each other. Nearly all fortunes are made much more entertaining by the addition of the words “in bed” at the end.


“Every exit creates a new entrance.” – trite homily

“Every exit creates a new entrance, in bed.” – naughty suggestion

Michael Brendan Dougherty notes that a similar method can be used to take the inane nation-building suggestions of neoconservatives and make them more entertaining.

Now I’ve discovered, with the help of booze and Jim Antle of that there is a phrase that you can tack on to most neoconservative op-eds and essays – which helps to clarify the point they are trying to make. Whenever a neoconservative says something should be done, whether it is democracy promotion, or instilling purpose in an enervated American populace, or diplomacy you can finish the thought for him by adding three little words: by killing people.

Sometimes it’s too easy.

Yours truly,
Mr. X


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