The Meme Machine

Heidi, one of Boozie‘s readers, tagged me with one of those damnable Internet memes. In a rare exception to my general rule not to do things like this (the only thing worse are those damn tests, e.g Which Rule of Federal Civil Procedure Are You?, here goes:

Four Jobs that I’ve Had

1. Food Distribution Manager – I managed the distribution of food for a relief agency in Albania in 1999. Albania’s one of those countries where the infrastructure was bad enough that Kosovo was better after we bombed it than Albania was without any bombing.
2. Waiter – My first job was waiting tables at a pancake restaurant in the Chicago suburbs. I was an awkward teenager and rode my ten-speed to work. Decent money, though, and I got to eat for free.
3. Computer Consultant – Many, many years doing system analysis and software engineering for a variety of government agencies. On the bright side, I got some good experience and I know that I’m eligible for a security clearance. Not that I ever want to do Dept. of Defense work again, but I could.
4. Timeshare Salesman – There was a brief stint selling timeshare. No, I was not the guy on the phone. I was the guy who gave people a tour of the resort, chatted them up about vacations, and tried to get them to take out a mortgage at the end of 90 minutes. Given that these people had made a blood oath prior to attending a presentation “not to buy anything today,” it was a tough gig. Still, I made a fair number of sales and learned quite a bit about people.

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

1. The Fifth Element – Super green.
2. Gladiator – Stoic resignation combined with decidedly un-Stoic quest for revenge, plus great cinematography and action choreography.
3. Strictly Ballroom – Baz Luhrmann’s first and best. Sure, he does great work when he has a bigger budget, but this is still a better movie than Moulin Rouge or Romeo + Juliet.
4. Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory – My favorite movie since I was a little kid. I’m a huge Roald Dahl fan and despite the campy screenplay and the overlong first act, this movie still makes me happy in a way that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory never can.

Four Places I Have Lived

1. Phoenix, AZ
2. Portsmouth, Dominica
3. White Sands Missile Range, NM
4. Binghamton, NY

Four TV Shows I Love

1. The Office (UK version)
2. Penn & Teller’s Bullshit!
3. South Park
4. The Simpsons

Four Places I Have Vacationed

1. Istanbul, Turkey – I highly recommend staying at the Hotel Kybele. It’s right near the old city in Sultanahmet,and absolutely beautiful
2. Las Vegas, NV
3. Atlantic City, NJ
4. Cozumel, Mexico

Four of My Favorite Dishes

1. Balsamic-glazed Chicken with Rosemary
2. Eggplant Parmagiana Sub
3. Vegetable Chili and Cornbread
4. Risotto

Four Sites I Visit Daily

1. Hammer of Truth
2. Boozie
3. Bloglines
4. The Straight Dope

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now

1. Las Vegas, NV
2. In bed
3. New Hampshire
4. Azeroth – “Nerd Alert!!!!1”

Four bitches that done got tagged by me.

1. Johnny Law – because he hasn’t updated in eons.
2. Isobel – because it’s an excuse to read her blog.
3. Jeremy – because he’s been entirely too damn serious lately.
4. Alli – since she (a) hasn’t updated and (b) might enjoy it.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

…served and dancing back…